Forgiveness

Forgive (Forgiveness) 

The definition of "forgive" reads - to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, flaw or mistake. 

People often say that granting forgiveness to someone is more for YOU then for them. While I do agree with that the act of forgiveness is hard for me. Especially hard for me right now. 

I met him about 6 weeks ago. I did not fall  for him immediately but after 2 or 3 dates I was smitten. He was 100% different than any of the other guys I've dated in my past. But I didn't care. I enjoyed his company - the way he made me laugh and the way he made me feel. I loved how comfortable we were together. And I loved the way we "fit" together when we were snuggling. 

And then out of the blue on 12/27/13 he ended things with me via text message. He was seeing someone else also and they decided to become exclusive. 

"I'm sorry Stacy. You're so amazing doll. I hate myself right now.  I've been talking to another girl that I've known for a long time and I'm so sorry. We are gonna try to be together exclusively.  Stacy, you're so beautiful, your smile is priceless. You are so smart and so successful. I'm so sorry. I really hate myself right now. I hate how this is all going down. I'm so sorry to do this via text. I didn't know what to do. Ugh I'm sorry Stacy. You are so perfect and deserve the world.  Please don't hate me." 

Um - what?!?  Is this really happening. That totally came out of left field.  

So now it's been a week or so since this all happened. I'm so upset. I still have so many unanswered questions and I guess I have to be ok with that. But now I'm at this crossroad - offering forgiveness for what he's done so I can move on. I'm not sure I want to forgive him yet but I do know that I want to be free of this horrible feeling. 

I'll never understand how this all happened or why!  I truly believe he made a big mistake letting me go. 

More to come ...