Sleep doesn't come easy to me right now. I find myself obsessing over Facebook, Instagram, and our text messages. Dissecting each word and trying to figure out what the fuck I missed. I still can't believe he chose someone else. I still can't believe it's been a week since I've seen him. I still can't believe I'll never see him again.
Moving on is stupid hard... And even harder when there is unfinished business. In reality no one really did anything wrong and that is the hardest part. I put myself out there 100% and unfortunately he fell for someone else more than me.
I just wanna be angry today. Angry that I'm second choice again. Angry that I have to pick up the pieces and fuckin start over again. Angry that I have to sleep alone. Angry that I have no one to spend holidays with. Angry that I have no one to wish a good night. Angry that I don't have Ryan as my snuggle partner. Angry that he will never hold my hand again.
But I also know that someday I'll be someone's 1st choice. He will choose to hold my hand for the rest of his life. He will choose to kiss me every night. He will choose me to be his everything just as I will choose him.
I wish Ryan all the best in life. And like I told him the other day I will never regret my time with him. Cause at the end of the day I guess he was part of my journey in finding my Mr. Right.
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